I remember years ago I worked with a corporate client who asked me, “What are you, the Happiness Coach?" It wasn't intended as a compliment. In fact, it was quite pejorative.
I didn't flinch. I knew where she was coming from. She hadn't done much laughing. She saw everything as a problem to be solved. She was unhappy, but her unhappiness was so familiar to her that she didn't perceive herself as unhappy.
I believe she thought of herself as "normal" in her perception of happiness, and, further, that she considered happiness was unnecessary or even detrimental in the workplace. Perhaps, she even believed that happiness made her vulnerable.
An Empowering Question: What Do You Want?
There's an approach I use with many clients when I work with them one-on-one. In groups or in writing, the process is far more awkward, because everyone moves with a unique rhythm. The process is more effective one-on-one so I can monitor the timing and follow-up questions.
Some people arrive at the "happiness" answer with two questions; others require several questions to move through multiple layers of obvious answers.
Before I share the process with you, I want to say that I've concluded after using some variation of this process over many years with many individuals: Underneath (and yes, also permeating) every desire is the desire for happiness. A word other than "happiness" might be chosen, but the energy is the same. It's an energy that feels good.
Here's the Process:
(1) Ask yourself one of the following questions: "What do I want?" Or, "What do I want to experience?" Or,"What do I want to manifest?"
(2) Listen to your answer and accept it. It's the perfect answer.
(3) If the answer is anything other than a positive feeling, keep asking some variation on the above # (1) questions until you genuinely get to a good-feeling answer. You might consider adding the word "really" before the word "want" to more easily get you to the next layer.
When someone who can read energy is asking you the questions, you and the other person will both know when you've arrived at the level of consciousness that resonates with your deep desire to be happy or fulfilled or satisfied.
What Do You Want to Feel?
As a result of working with questions like the above, I often quicken the process and ask "What do you want to feel?" Not everyone can go right to a feeling response if I ask too soon, but it's powerful when someone can.
Some individuals who are in uncomfortable relationships with others respond to questions like "What do you want?" with "I want him/her to change or to _____ (do a particular thing)." For true inner happiness, each person needs to identify his or her own inner desire.
Sometimes it’s necessary to move through a myriad of layers to get to the feeling. Other times, it's better to circumvent the victim or blame consciousness by isolating the feeling as soon as possible.
I consider "whatever it takes" is worth doing to move through the layers to touch the feeling that feels good to you. And then to live in that feeling and related feelings as often as you can, throughout each day. Such an approach helps you to bloom where you are planted, to recognize your own magnificence.
It's simple. However, as with the client I mentioned above, many people have become so familiar with feeling less-than-good that they're desensitized to their range of feelings.
What is “Feeling Good”?
Being Happy. Feeling Pleased. Being Satisfied. Feeling Fulfilled. Being Joyous. Feeling Free. Being in Love with Life. Eager and Ready. Being enthusiastic. Smiling. Laughing. Knowing Magnificence.
What do YOU want?
What do YOU want to feel?
Think about that. Feel it. Write about it, either for yourself or in a comment here.
Make this a Happy Day!
Copyright © 2019 Marshall House and Voice of Jeanie Marshall. All rights reserved. Jeanie Marshall is a Personal Development Consultant and Coach. This article is not available for republication without express written permission.